CrossFit is Hurting My Self-Esteem

A couple of weeks ago, I watched one of my fellow female Karma CrossFitters improve her Fran time by more than one minute. One minute! That's incredible. She acknowledged that it was better, but she was also disappointed. She was frustrated with her pull-ups and bummed that she'd missed thruster reps. Instead of rejoicing in her amazing improvement, she was wallowing in her mistakes. I was so proud of her and awed by her capabilities and wished she could see the same for herself.

Then I realized: I do the same thing, all the time.

Instead of celebrating the incredible things my body can now do, I beat myself up over my mistakes. At the end of that hellish thruster-push-press-run-burpee-box-jump bonanza we did last week, I wasn't thinking, "Hey, good for me for squeezing out one more rep on my last set." I was thinking, "Why didn't I try for that extra rep in round 3?And in round 4? Why didn't I get as many reps as so-and-so?..." In fact, sometimes I leave the box even more dejected than when I walked in.

Of course, if I were perfectly content with every workout, maybe I wouldn't push as hard on the next one. Recognizing the need to improve is the first step in getting better. But I also hate beating myself up mentally and feeling like a failure after workouts. I put enough internal pressure on myself - we all do, we're CrossFitters - and I want to recognize my accomplishments as much as I acknowledge my mistakes.

So here's my new pledge: Before I bitch about what I did wrong, how slow I was, how weak I felt, I will pay myself a compliment. And I will not let CrossFit make me feel bad about myself. I am not the fastest, strongest, flexible, or most agile girl in the box. But I'm a lot better than when I started. And I probably won't get any worse.

I'm hoping some of the other ladies make the same pledge. Because I think you guys are so incredible, and I'm amazed at what you accomplish, and I'm proud to work out, hang out, and compete with you!