Eye of the tiger (or close enough)

My focus this week is on preparing for the Winter Shakedown, a team CrossFit competition that I did not want to do (Nicole!!!!) but am nevertheless participating in because I couldn't let down my fellow CrossFitter in crime (Nicole).

Let me walk you through the last time I did the Winter Shakedown.

The Wednesday before the event, the organizers announced the WODs: 54-pound kettlebell swings (which I'd never done), 105-pound clean and jerks (my max) for multiple reps, double-unders (they're impossible, I tell you!), rope climbs, and muscle-ups (yeah, right). Needless to say, I was a wreck leading up to the weekend. I couldn't sleep the night before, couldn't eat, and on the day of the event, I spent the better part of the morning in the port-a-pottie outside CrossFit FAST alternating between diarrhea and nervous pee.

First WOD. Here's me in the background, literally gasping for air, having swung a 54-pound kettlebell for only the second time in my life, the first being the night before:





Just a few minutes later in that same workout, I lost the ability to hold my torso upright:

Fast forward an hour or so later, and it was time to max out my deadlift. Mind you, I hadn't eaten anything and I'd lost a lot of fluids due to my frequent potty runs. Still, I was repping out 180 pound deadlifts in the parking lot, so I was confident I'd make my first attempt. Then this happened:

Pretty much the worst deadlift you've ever seen, right? Knees buckling, hips too high, bar not budging off the ground. I missed my first attempt at 180#. AND IT GOT IN MY HEAD. Finally, I managed to peel the bar off the ground and make 180, but I swear, the thing felt like 300 pounds, and I tweaked my hamstring in the process. This was my first realization that I do not have the eye of the tiger.

In the last WOD of the day, I was supposed to clean and jerk 105 pounds for 2-4-6-8 with double unders in between. I got one rep. ONE REP. And it was an ugly one. I left the competition as deflated as I've ever been, and it haunts me to this day.

So leading up to Saturday's competition, I have a completely different mindset. I will not feel like a failure (see "CrossFit is Hurting My Self-Esteem"). I will have fun. I will do my best. I will not feel nervous, and I will make sure to eat, even if it kills me. It is what it is, and thank God, all of the WODs have time limits so at most I'll embarrass myself for 22 minutes.

At this moment, my head is in a good place (although I'm battling a cold and my diet's gone to shit - that's for another post) so we'll see if I can maintain it when they announce the WODs this week. In any event, I hope the photos from this comp show me at least smiling - even just once - because it's no fun to CrossFit when it's no fun.